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  • police officer: you're under arrest for shooting someone in the chest
  • me: whoever made the rhyme did the crime(:
  • police officer: haha i have to give you credit for that one dude you're off the hook
6 hours ago · 42,645 notes · reblog
6 hours ago · 322,045 notes · reblog

shoutout to those three followers who like and reblog literally everything you post

6 hours ago · 391,513 notes · reblog


"You can’t eat all that!"

fuckin watch me.

6 hours ago · 346,745 notes · reblog



It’s fun to chant “Bloody Mary” into your car’s side mirror three times and watch her jog and try to keep up.

Being a dick even to demons

6 hours ago · 165,574 notes · reblog



why did authors stop naming their chapters i loved it when there was a clever little title for each chapter it was great


7 hours ago · 14,929 notes · reblog

i wanna play drums w ur butt

7 hours ago · 678,259 notes · reblog


if you dont eat the pizza crust you are weak and natural selection is coming for you